excerpt
NaNoWriMo Word Count 20678/50000
this is something I wrote for my Nanowrimo novel. I want feedback on it. I want to know if the events described here seem real.
The man who convinced me to move to San Jose had decided to leave town. He was cashing out his house and stock options for the open plains. He had the chance to buy into a business in Kansas. He was going to be working to develop new call center technologies. That is just what the world needs, automated systems that seem more human.
I went to his going away dinner. It was at one of those Silicon Valley brewpubs that were always full during the boom. Now we have a much easier time getting a table. We had a big table so lot of the people from work could wish him well.
I got there late so I ended up sitting near sitting next to people I had nothing to talk about. I like my job, but I do not get along with everyone. I decided I was just going to wait until some people decided to shift around.
I was sitting there just looking across the restaurant. I was staring when I saw two women sit at a table at the bar. The one woman looked like a secretary, long skirt, sharp blouse, and conservative hairstyle. The other woman looked like a software manager, slacks, dress shirt, and a short hairstyle. It is more their movements that made me thing the, secretary sat back, listened, and reacted after the other women stopped talking. The software manager needed to be prompted for answers, spoke with her hands, and talked for long stretches. Many times she acted she was drawing on a giant white board. I watched them for a long time.
“What are you looking at?” John asked me.
“I am watching two women on a first date.”
“How can you tell four people are on first dates?”
“No, the women are on a first date together.”
“Wha?”
“Look, software manager woman is stilling a story, waiting to see if the sectary will laugh. It takes a moment, and then the sectary does laugh. The software manager looks relieved and happy.”
“That does not mean anything thing.”
“Look, the secretary she just put her hand on the middle of the table, venturing out, hoping for good feedback. She said something sweet to the software manager. The software manager puts her both hands on the secretary’s hand and strokes gently. The waiter breaks up the tender moment. Both women take a moment to compose themselves.”
“How do know it is a first date?”
“You can tell it is an early date because both women have jerky movements. They do not know each other’s boundaries and movements. They keep on pushing toward boundaries and pulling back.”
“Look, the secretary just said something sexually suggestive. She is confident in what she said, but there is a little fear of scaring the other software manager off. The software manager returns with a sly smile, and a comment. The software manager touches the secretary on the arm to reassure her. They are both smiling.
“You can tell it is first date because they have strong eye contact and then break it. It is like they do not know how much eye contact is too much.”
“How do you know all this stuff Bob?”
“I am single, unattached, and 30. I have eaten a lot of meals in restaurants by myself. I have watched lot of people on dates. You get to know the language of dates.”
“You do need a girlfriend.”
“The interesting thing is that they both have the same physical vocabulary. When men and women are on a date, particularly a first date, they have different physical vocabularies. They will react to the same idea with different movement. These women have the same physical vocabulary. They both have the same reactions to each of the same situation.”
I move from my chair to a chair on the other side of the table. “If I keep on looking at them, they will notice me staring. I think one might have already noticed me. I do not want to make them feel uncomfortable. They would think I am staring because I think there is something different about two women dating.”
“But you do think there is something different. You said they moved in a different way then a man and a women.”
“Yea, but I am not sure I could explain that to two women who think I am a homophobe or a pervert.”
“I know you are a pervert and I still like you.
“Thanks John, that is the vote of confidence I am always looking for from my friends.”
Over the next couple days I kept on thinking about the women. I wondered how their date went. I wonder if they will be going on another one. I know almost nothing about lesbian relationships. I am not sure what the outside pressures on the relationship would be like. I wish the best for the women.
NaNoWriMo Word Count 20678/50000
this is something I wrote for my Nanowrimo novel. I want feedback on it. I want to know if the events described here seem real.
The man who convinced me to move to San Jose had decided to leave town. He was cashing out his house and stock options for the open plains. He had the chance to buy into a business in Kansas. He was going to be working to develop new call center technologies. That is just what the world needs, automated systems that seem more human.
I went to his going away dinner. It was at one of those Silicon Valley brewpubs that were always full during the boom. Now we have a much easier time getting a table. We had a big table so lot of the people from work could wish him well.
I got there late so I ended up sitting near sitting next to people I had nothing to talk about. I like my job, but I do not get along with everyone. I decided I was just going to wait until some people decided to shift around.
I was sitting there just looking across the restaurant. I was staring when I saw two women sit at a table at the bar. The one woman looked like a secretary, long skirt, sharp blouse, and conservative hairstyle. The other woman looked like a software manager, slacks, dress shirt, and a short hairstyle. It is more their movements that made me thing the, secretary sat back, listened, and reacted after the other women stopped talking. The software manager needed to be prompted for answers, spoke with her hands, and talked for long stretches. Many times she acted she was drawing on a giant white board. I watched them for a long time.
“What are you looking at?” John asked me.
“I am watching two women on a first date.”
“How can you tell four people are on first dates?”
“No, the women are on a first date together.”
“Wha?”
“Look, software manager woman is stilling a story, waiting to see if the sectary will laugh. It takes a moment, and then the sectary does laugh. The software manager looks relieved and happy.”
“That does not mean anything thing.”
“Look, the secretary she just put her hand on the middle of the table, venturing out, hoping for good feedback. She said something sweet to the software manager. The software manager puts her both hands on the secretary’s hand and strokes gently. The waiter breaks up the tender moment. Both women take a moment to compose themselves.”
“How do know it is a first date?”
“You can tell it is an early date because both women have jerky movements. They do not know each other’s boundaries and movements. They keep on pushing toward boundaries and pulling back.”
“Look, the secretary just said something sexually suggestive. She is confident in what she said, but there is a little fear of scaring the other software manager off. The software manager returns with a sly smile, and a comment. The software manager touches the secretary on the arm to reassure her. They are both smiling.
“You can tell it is first date because they have strong eye contact and then break it. It is like they do not know how much eye contact is too much.”
“How do you know all this stuff Bob?”
“I am single, unattached, and 30. I have eaten a lot of meals in restaurants by myself. I have watched lot of people on dates. You get to know the language of dates.”
“You do need a girlfriend.”
“The interesting thing is that they both have the same physical vocabulary. When men and women are on a date, particularly a first date, they have different physical vocabularies. They will react to the same idea with different movement. These women have the same physical vocabulary. They both have the same reactions to each of the same situation.”
I move from my chair to a chair on the other side of the table. “If I keep on looking at them, they will notice me staring. I think one might have already noticed me. I do not want to make them feel uncomfortable. They would think I am staring because I think there is something different about two women dating.”
“But you do think there is something different. You said they moved in a different way then a man and a women.”
“Yea, but I am not sure I could explain that to two women who think I am a homophobe or a pervert.”
“I know you are a pervert and I still like you.
“Thanks John, that is the vote of confidence I am always looking for from my friends.”
Over the next couple days I kept on thinking about the women. I wondered how their date went. I wonder if they will be going on another one. I know almost nothing about lesbian relationships. I am not sure what the outside pressures on the relationship would be like. I wish the best for the women.
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