The Wedding

The wedding today was very interesting. To start with it was raining and raining hard. It was raining that typhoon level or rain. All the time I hear the comment that people on the West Coast do not know how to drive in the rain. I did not know what they were talking about until today. It has to be at least three years since I have driving in rain this hard. I passed a lot of accidents on the highway on the way to the wedding.

The wedding was set to be out doors at a forest preserve. They ended up holding the ceremony under a picnic pavilion. The ushers were running an umbrella service. The rain turned out to have an odd effect on the ceremony. It ended up being very cozy. It was almost like an adventure. I know that I paid more attention to the ceremony. All the people at the ceremony seemed closer.

No one seemed to be bothered by the rain. Jen, the bride, seemed not to be bothered at all. She said that the rain made the day seem more special. I think she was referring to how a lot of people seemed more relaxed. The priest said that the weather made it truly an Iron man wedding. Last year Jeff ran and Iron Man triathlon.

The reception was supposed to be outside also. They were holding it at a part that was the home of some old Chicago Newspaper Baron. They had thought ahead and rented a tent. The problem was it rained so hard the tent was flooded and the dance floor that was set up was under two feet of water. They moved the reception indoors.

I had a good time at the reception. I spent most of my night talking to the people that I had met the night before at the rehearsal dinner. I sat with the people from Jen's book club. They seemed to be fun people. I stuck my foot in my mouth a couple of times with them. After a little while I did not care anymore. I did not start dancing until the end of the reception.

I was surprised that I was the only person from high school that was at the wedding. I expected there to be one or two other people from Tennent to be there. Jeff and I were friends in high school, but we did not really run in the same circles. We rode the bus together and went to the same church. I think that we have been able to keep that level friendship. If we do not hear from each other for six months, it does not bother either one of us. I know there are people I was close to in high school that I would not invite to my wedding. It makes me feel good that Jeff and I have been about to keep that stay friends.

There were times during the reception where I felt disconnected from the people there. I felt like I was forcing myself into every conversation. I found that I just had to sit by myself at these times. It is hard to go to a wedding when the only person you really know is the groom. I did not want to hang on Jeff the whole night. I know the bride and groom are always busy.

It is times like this when I feel fiercely independent. There are a lot of times when I feel alone in the world. At these times I tend to pull back in to myself. My experience is that if I am feeling lonely, it is not a good thing for me to try to push myself on people. I tend to be really needy. I guess there is no way for to avoid feeling isolated at a wedding where I know so few people.

I am staying in a hotel tonight. My idea was that I did not want to drive back to Chicago after the wedding. I was also hoping to be invited to any after wedding festivities. There did not seem to be anything going on. If there was I was not invited. I am still glad that I got the hotel room. It gives me a chance to sleep someplace else then the couch. It also gives Jeremy a night without having to worry about me.

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