Trip to Chicago
I am off to Chicago tomorrow. It is the first vacation that I have taken in more then a year. I am really looking forward to it. I will be staying with my friend Jeremy. Jeremy has been my best friend since high school. I am not sure if I am his "best friend," but I can say that our relationship is enduring. I can say that he knows me as well as any person in the world. I can also say that he and I connect at a level that never seems to diminish.
There is one thing that worries me. It seems that my personal concerns are the same personal concerns that I have had for the last six years. I do not know if I am doing the right thing with my life. I feel isolated from people. I do not have relationships with women. I do not know what direction my life is going. I could go back to 1997 and these would be the same things I would be talking about.
I am not sure if this has worried me in the past. It worries me now. I am worried that I am not developing. I am worried that my life is not going anywhere. When I was moving out west the big cloud hanging over my head was that I was not going to address any of the problems I was having. I was just going to change the zip code where those problems resided. While moving out west helped me become more independent, I do not think it answered all my problems.
I have to find a way to not treat Jeremy like a therapist while I am out there. I am afraid that I will keep on talking about the things in my life that I do not like. I feel this would be a big problem. I would be dumping too much on Jeremy. On some level I feel that he is one of the few people I can be really open with. He is someone who really understands me. On another level I feel that I abusing him as a friend.
I will have to see how this works out.
There is one thing that worries me. It seems that my personal concerns are the same personal concerns that I have had for the last six years. I do not know if I am doing the right thing with my life. I feel isolated from people. I do not have relationships with women. I do not know what direction my life is going. I could go back to 1997 and these would be the same things I would be talking about.
I am not sure if this has worried me in the past. It worries me now. I am worried that I am not developing. I am worried that my life is not going anywhere. When I was moving out west the big cloud hanging over my head was that I was not going to address any of the problems I was having. I was just going to change the zip code where those problems resided. While moving out west helped me become more independent, I do not think it answered all my problems.
I have to find a way to not treat Jeremy like a therapist while I am out there. I am afraid that I will keep on talking about the things in my life that I do not like. I feel this would be a big problem. I would be dumping too much on Jeremy. On some level I feel that he is one of the few people I can be really open with. He is someone who really understands me. On another level I feel that I abusing him as a friend.
I will have to see how this works out.
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